I just had to get out of my hibernation mode to comment on this sappy hammed up emo column by Adi Pocha. The column is topical, as most columns are, and you can almost hear the sad violin in the back ground as the local hobo-bard tries to make it sound like a tragedy. Adi Pocha wants to be the conscience of this city, only he has as much finesse as a 9 year old on a Bombay local singing tum to thehre pardesi .

Our city is falling. Around our eyes and ears. Not in the dark of some silent night. But in broad daylight. While we wait at a clinic. Or eat pani puri after our evening walk. Or buy jewellery, maybe for our daughter’s wedding.

First of all, I hate these short stacatto burst sentences that every wannabe Chuck Paulanuik has started using. It’s getting old. And then he goes into metaphorical warps of logic, like this:

Meanwhile, of course, our city is falling. Crumbling slowly under the crushing weight of millions of individual dreams”

“For now it is held up teetering, only by the spirit of its people.

For those who aren’t in Bombay, an old building just crumbled with the occupants still under it. There are plenty of buildings with old cracks, the only reason people are still there is cause of some ridiculous rent act fifty fucking years ago, because of which they have squatted on these properties with their extended families for their entire lives for a nominal sum, and they aren’t even allowed to repair these buildings, because of some warped government laws that holds plaster more precious than human life.

I’m sure every TV channel is there to capture the melodrama, wailing mothers beating their chests and all. The media sales guys for these channels would be overbooked on the ad slots. And somewhere amidst all of this, they’d talk about the spirit of the mumbaikar, that hard as nails city rat who will voluntarily subject himself to crush density loads, back to work the next day because he’s so badass.

I’m calling bullshit on that. This so called spirit of Bombay is the same bullshit that New Yorkers had post 9/11, some crap about bravery and courage in the face of adversity, when in reality, even the worst of Bombay is nothing compared to Chad, Algeria, Niger, Congo, Chechnya, and various other hellholes in which tribes rape and pillage each other for sport.

How hard is it to haul your ass to a job you don’t like? People all over the world do it. We just got shitty infrastructure, and now it looks like we’re getting proud of it.

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